Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
