You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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