My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
