you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
