Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
