So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize