you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
