my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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