wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize