This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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