If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
