then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
