Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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