Dual....:-)
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
