...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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