she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
