Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
