Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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