You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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