My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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