just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
