i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
