I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
