weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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