There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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