Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
