Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
