It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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