Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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