Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
North Korea, Best Korea!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
