come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Small penises have feelings too.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
