Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
