He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the liver wants what the liver wants
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
