He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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