he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
