Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
