Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just pee around me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
