Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
