Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
