i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
