Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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