using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
