bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
is it fun? or sober?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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