Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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