You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
