Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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