How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
