there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
