I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
