You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
