dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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