these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
