One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
