what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
