I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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