I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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