Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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