You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
