On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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