so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
