His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
